Teaching on love
“Which is to love each other tenderly.”
St. Teresa of Ávila
St. Teresa of Ávila

The Tenderness of Love: A Reflection on St. Teresa of Ávila

St. Teresa of Ávila invites us to embrace a profound and gentle love for one another, encapsulated in her poignant phrase, "Which is to love each other tenderly." This call to tenderness is not merely a suggestion; it is an essential aspect of our shared humanity and spiritual journey. In a world often marked by division and strife, Teresa's words remind us of the transformative power of love, urging us to cultivate compassion and empathy within our communities.

To love each other tenderly is to recognize the sacredness in our relationships, to approach one another with an open heart and a willingness to understand. This tenderness is not a passive sentiment but an active engagement with the world around us. It challenges us to move beyond superficial connections and to foster a deeper sense of belonging, where love becomes a nurturing force that binds us together in our shared vulnerabilities and joys.

The image / the metaphor

At the heart of Teresa's quote lies the imagery of tenderness, a word that evokes softness, warmth, and care. The verb "love" is not merely an emotion but an action, suggesting that tenderness is something we must actively practice. This notion of loving tenderly implies a gentle touch, a listening ear, and a compassionate heart, all of which are essential in building authentic connections with others. The phrase invites us to envision love as a delicate thread that weaves through the fabric of our relationships, creating a tapestry of support and understanding.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, tenderness suggests a vulnerability that is often absent in our interactions. It calls for a willingness to expose our true selves, to share our fears and hopes without the armor of pretense. In this light, love becomes a sanctuary where we can be seen and accepted for who we are. This tender love transcends mere affection; it is a commitment to nurture and uplift one another, recognizing that each person carries their own burdens and joys.

In the speaker's tradition

St. Teresa of Ávila's teachings are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, where love is often seen as the highest virtue. Her emphasis on tender love resonates with the concept of *kenosis*, or self-emptying, which invites us to let go of our ego and embrace the needs of others. This selfless love mirrors the *bhakti* tradition found in various spiritual paths, where devotion to others is a pathway to divine connection. In Teresa's view, loving tenderly is not just an ethical imperative; it is a spiritual practice that draws us closer to the divine.

In her seminal work, *Way of Perfection*, Teresa elaborates on the importance of love in the spiritual life, suggesting that true prayer and contemplation are rooted in our ability to love others. She writes about the necessity of fostering a community where love flourishes, echoing the teachings of St. John of the Cross, who also emphasized the transformative power of love in the soul's journey toward God. This interconnectedness of love and spirituality underscores the depth of Teresa's insight, revealing that our relationships with one another are a reflection of our relationship with the divine.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching of tender love can be applied: a workplace filled with stress and competition. In such an environment, the act of approaching colleagues with tenderness—offering support, listening actively, and celebrating each other's successes—can transform the atmosphere. When we choose to love tenderly in these moments, we create a culture of collaboration rather than rivalry, fostering a sense of community that enhances both individual and collective well-being.

Another application of this teaching can be found in personal relationships, particularly during difficult moments. Imagine a disagreement with a loved one, where emotions run high and misunderstandings abound. By choosing to respond with tenderness—taking a breath, seeking to understand their perspective, and expressing our own feelings with care—we can navigate conflict in a way that deepens our connection rather than driving a wedge between us. This practice of tender love invites healing and reconciliation, reminding us that our relationships are sacred spaces for growth.

A reflection

As we contemplate St. Teresa of Ávila's call to "love each other tenderly," we are invited to reflect on the nature of our own relationships. How can we cultivate tenderness in our interactions with others? In what ways might we let go of defensiveness and embrace vulnerability, allowing love to flourish in our lives? These questions challenge us to examine our hearts and consider the transformative potential of tender love in our daily existence.

St. Teresa of Ávila
ArtistSt. Teresa of Ávila

Spanish Carmelite nun and mystic, reformer and writer. Her Interior Castle describes seven mansions of the soul's journey to God.

Got Questions?

Frequently Asked Questions

St. Teresa of Ávila emphasized that loving each other tenderly involves a deep, compassionate engagement with one another. It is not merely about affection but about actively nurturing relationships with care, understanding, and vulnerability.
You can apply this teaching by approaching your interactions with others through the lens of compassion and empathy. Simple acts of kindness, active listening, and offering support in times of need can embody this tender love.
Yes, the concept of tender love is echoed in various Christian mystical writings, particularly in the works of St. John of the Cross and Julian of Norwich, who both emphasize the transformative power of love in the spiritual journey.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying of one's ego to serve others, while tender love is the expression of that selflessness in relationships. Both concepts are interconnected, as true tender love often arises from a place of kenosis.
Practices such as mindfulness, active listening, and regular acts of kindness can support living the teaching of tender love. Engaging in contemplative prayer can also deepen your understanding of love's role in your relationships.
Fostering tenderness in a challenging relationship involves approaching the other person with an open heart, seeking to understand their perspective, and expressing your feelings with care. This can create a safe space for dialogue and healing.

Continue Reading

Related Quotes

View All