Teaching on understanding
“To be understood as to understand. To be loved as to love.”
SF
St. Francis of Assisi

St. Francis of Assisi's poignant words, "To be understood as to understand. To be loved as to love," encapsulate a profound truth about the nature of human relationships. This quote invites us to reflect on the reciprocity inherent in our interactions with others. It suggests that our capacity to receive understanding and love is intrinsically linked to our willingness to offer these gifts in return. In a world often marked by division and misunderstanding, this teaching serves as a gentle reminder of the transformative power of empathy and compassion.

At its core, this quote speaks to the essence of connection. It challenges us to consider how our own experiences of love and understanding can ripple outward, influencing those around us. The act of understanding another person is not merely a passive reception; it is an active engagement that requires us to listen deeply and to see beyond our own perspectives. Similarly, to love is to extend oneself, to reach out with an open heart, and to create a space where others can feel valued and cherished. This reciprocal relationship forms the foundation of a compassionate existence.

The image / the metaphor

The imagery within St. Francis's quote evokes a sense of mutuality and interdependence. The verbs "to be understood" and "to be loved" suggest a dynamic exchange rather than a one-sided experience. Understanding and love are not commodities to be hoarded; they are gifts that flourish when shared. The phrase "as to understand" and "as to love" implies that our own experiences of these virtues are contingent upon our willingness to give them freely. This creates a vivid picture of a cycle of generosity, where each act of understanding and love begets more of the same.

In the speaker's tradition

St. Francis of Assisi's teachings are deeply rooted in the Franciscan tradition, which emphasizes humility, simplicity, and the interconnectedness of all creation. The concepts of kenosis, or self-emptying, and bhakti, or devotion, resonate with the essence of this quote. Kenosis invites us to let go of our ego and preconceived notions, allowing space for others to be seen and heard. Bhakti, on the other hand, encourages a loving devotion that transcends the self, fostering a deep connection with others and the divine. Together, these principles illuminate the path toward understanding and love.

In the context of St. Francis's life, we can draw parallels to the "Canticle of the Creatures," where he expresses his profound love for all of creation. This text reflects his belief in the interconnectedness of life and the importance of recognizing the divine in every being. By embracing the spirit of this canticle, we can cultivate a heart that seeks to understand and love, mirroring the very essence of St. Francis's teachings. The invitation to live in harmony with others and the world around us is a call to embody the principles of reciprocity and compassion.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching can be applied: a workplace conflict. Imagine two colleagues who have differing opinions on a project. If each person approaches the situation with the intention to understand the other's perspective, they create an environment where dialogue can flourish. By actively listening and seeking to comprehend the underlying motivations and feelings of one another, they not only resolve the conflict but also foster a deeper sense of respect and collaboration. This illustrates how the principles of understanding and love can transform challenging situations into opportunities for growth.

In a more personal context, think about a relationship where misunderstandings often arise. By consciously practicing the art of understanding—taking the time to listen without judgment and to express love through small acts of kindness—both partners can create a safe space for vulnerability. This practice not only strengthens their bond but also cultivates a deeper appreciation for each other's experiences. In moments of difficulty, remembering St. Francis's words can serve as a guiding light, reminding us that our capacity to love and understand is a shared journey.

A reflection

As we contemplate the wisdom of St. Francis's quote, we are invited to reflect on our own lives: How can we embody the principles of understanding and love in our daily interactions? In what ways can we open our hearts to both give and receive these gifts more fully? This inquiry encourages us to examine our relationships and consider how we might contribute to a more compassionate world, one act of understanding and love at a time.

Artist
St. Francis of Assisi

Wisdom from St. Francis of Assisi.

Got Questions?

St. Francis's quote emphasizes the reciprocal nature of understanding and love. He suggests that our ability to receive these gifts from others is directly linked to our willingness to offer them in return. This mutual exchange fosters deeper connections and enriches our relationships.
You can apply this teaching by actively listening to others and seeking to understand their perspectives before expressing your own. In your interactions, make a conscious effort to show love through small acts of kindness, creating a cycle of reciprocity that enhances your relationships.
Yes, the themes of reciprocity and compassion are prevalent in other Franciscan texts, such as the 'Canticle of the Creatures,' where St. Francis expresses love for all creation. These texts emphasize the interconnectedness of life and the importance of understanding and loving others.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying of one's ego to make space for others, while bhakti emphasizes a loving devotion that connects us to others and the divine. Both concepts support the idea of reciprocity in understanding and love, but they approach it from different angles.
Mindful listening is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By fully engaging with others when they speak, setting aside your own judgments, and responding with empathy, you cultivate an environment where understanding and love can thrive.
In a difficult relationship, focus on open communication and vulnerability. Share your feelings honestly while also inviting the other person to express theirs. This mutual exchange can help bridge gaps and foster a deeper understanding between you.

Continue Reading

View All