Teaching on paradox
“Whatever it is, hold it close. Whatever it is, let it go.”
MO
Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver's poignant words, "Whatever it is, hold it close. Whatever it is, let it go," invite us into a profound exploration of the human experience. This duality of holding and releasing encapsulates the essence of our relationships with emotions, memories, and aspirations. In a world that often demands certainty and control, Oliver’s invitation to embrace both attachment and detachment reveals a deeper wisdom about the nature of existence. It challenges us to navigate the delicate balance between cherishing what we love and recognizing the impermanence of all things.

At the heart of this quote lies a paradox that resonates deeply within the contemplative tradition. To hold something close suggests a desire for connection, intimacy, and preservation, while letting it go speaks to the acceptance of change, loss, and the transient nature of life. This interplay between grasping and releasing is not merely a philosophical concept; it is a lived reality that shapes our emotional landscapes. By engaging with this paradox, we are invited to reflect on what it means to truly live, to love, and to let go, ultimately leading us toward a more authentic existence.

The image / the metaphor

Oliver’s choice of words evokes a vivid imagery that resonates with the tactile experience of life. "Hold it close" conjures the warmth of embracing a loved one, the comfort of a cherished memory, or the thrill of a dream pursued. The act of holding suggests a protective instinct, a desire to keep something safe from the ravages of time and circumstance. Conversely, "let it go" introduces a contrasting image of release, akin to watching a bird take flight or allowing a leaf to drift downstream. The verbs chosen here—hold and let go—carry a weight of emotional significance, inviting us to feel the tension between attachment and freedom.

Diving deeper into the metaphor, we can see that holding and letting go are not merely oppositional forces but rather complementary aspects of our existence. Holding close can be seen as an act of love, a way to honor what is meaningful to us. Yet, the act of letting go is equally vital; it is an acknowledgment of the impermanence that defines our lives. This duality reflects the cyclical nature of existence, where moments of joy and sorrow, gain and loss, are interwoven. In this dance, we learn that to truly embrace life, we must be willing to engage with both aspects, allowing ourselves to experience the fullness of our humanity.

In the speaker's tradition

Mary Oliver's work is deeply rooted in the contemplative tradition, drawing upon the wisdom of nature and the human spirit. Her poetry often reflects themes of mindfulness and presence, echoing concepts found in various spiritual traditions such as dharma and sunyata. The idea of holding and letting go resonates with the Buddhist notion of attachment and the understanding that clinging to desires leads to suffering. In this light, Oliver's words can be seen as an invitation to cultivate awareness of our attachments and to practice the art of non-attachment, a central tenet in many contemplative paths.

Furthermore, Oliver's exploration of this paradox can be likened to the Christian concept of kenosis, or self-emptying, where one must let go of the ego and personal desires to embrace a greater love. In her poem "Wild Geese," she encourages readers to find solace in the natural world, suggesting that by releasing our burdens, we can reconnect with the essence of life itself. This interplay of holding and letting go is not just a personal journey but a universal truth that transcends cultural boundaries, inviting us to reflect on our own experiences of love, loss, and liberation.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where this teaching might resonate: a person grappling with the end of a significant relationship. The instinct to hold on to the memories, the shared laughter, and the dreams once envisioned can be overwhelming. Yet, as time unfolds, the necessity of letting go becomes apparent. This process is not about erasing the past but rather about honoring it while allowing oneself to move forward. In this context, Oliver's words serve as a gentle reminder that both holding and letting go are essential to healing and growth.

A reflection

As we contemplate Mary Oliver's profound words, we are left with a question that invites introspection: What are the things in my life that I am holding too tightly, and what might I need to release to find greater peace? This inquiry encourages us to examine our attachments, whether they be to relationships, ambitions, or even self-perceptions. By engaging with this question, we open ourselves to the possibility of transformation, allowing the wisdom of holding and letting go to guide us on our journey toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Artist
Mary Oliver

Wisdom from Mary Oliver.

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Got Questions?

Mary Oliver's quote emphasizes the duality of human experience, suggesting that we should cherish what we love while also recognizing the impermanence of all things. It invites us to embrace both attachment and detachment as essential aspects of living fully.
You can apply this teaching by reflecting on your attachments and considering what you might be holding onto too tightly. Practicing mindfulness can help you recognize when to cherish moments and when to let go, fostering a sense of balance in your emotional life.
Yes, the themes of holding and letting go are prevalent in various contemplative-poetry texts. Poets like Rainer Maria Rilke and David Whyte explore similar paradoxes, inviting readers to engage with the complexities of love, loss, and acceptance.
Attachment refers to the emotional clinging to people, experiences, or outcomes, often leading to suffering. Non-attachment, on the other hand, is the practice of appreciating what we have without the need to control or possess it, allowing for a more peaceful existence.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. It encourages awareness of thoughts and feelings, allowing you to hold them lightly and let them go, fostering a deeper understanding of the transient nature of life.
Navigating the pain of letting go involves acknowledging your feelings and allowing yourself to grieve. Creating rituals or memorials for what you cherish can help honor those memories while also facilitating the process of release.

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