Bessel van der Kolk's assertion that "there is no failure in trauma recovery. Only slow returning" invites us to reconsider our understanding of healing. In a world that often equates success with speed and efficiency, this perspective offers a profound shift. It emphasizes that the path to recovery is not linear and that each individual's journey is unique. This matters deeply because it reframes our expectations and encourages compassion towards ourselves and others as we navigate the complexities of trauma.
In this light, van der Kolk's words resonate with a gentle reminder that healing is not a race but a gradual unfolding. The notion of "slow returning" suggests a process that requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to embrace discomfort. This perspective is crucial, as it allows us to honor our experiences without the burden of judgment or the pressure to conform to societal timelines. By understanding recovery as a journey rather than a destination, we open ourselves to the possibility of profound transformation.
The image / the metaphor
The imagery in van der Kolk's quote evokes a sense of movement and progression, yet it is not the swift motion we often associate with recovery. The phrase "slow returning" conjures a feeling of gradual emergence, akin to a flower unfurling its petals after a long winter. The choice of the word "returning" suggests that healing is not about becoming someone new but rather about rediscovering and reclaiming parts of ourselves that may have been lost or buried under the weight of trauma.
Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can see that the process of returning is inherently relational. It implies a reconnection not only with ourselves but also with our surroundings, our loved ones, and the world at large. This slow return is akin to the ebb and flow of the tides, where the ocean retreats only to come back with renewed vigor. In this way, trauma recovery becomes a dance of resilience, where each step, no matter how small, is a testament to our strength and capacity for healing.
In the speaker's tradition
Bessel van der Kolk's insights are rooted in the field of trauma healing, which draws from various psychological and somatic practices. His work aligns with concepts such as "kenosis," the idea of emptying oneself to allow for new growth, and "prajna," the wisdom that arises from deep understanding and acceptance of suffering. These concepts emphasize the importance of being present with our pain and allowing it to inform our journey rather than define it.
In "The Body Keeps the Score," van der Kolk illustrates how trauma is stored in the body and how healing requires a holistic approach that integrates mind, body, and spirit. This perspective echoes the teachings found in various spiritual traditions, where the body is seen as a vessel of wisdom. For instance, in Buddhist philosophy, the concept of "sunyata," or emptiness, encourages us to let go of rigid identities and embrace the fluidity of our experiences, allowing for a more profound understanding of ourselves as we navigate the complexities of trauma recovery.
Living the teaching
Consider a modern scenario where someone has experienced a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one. In the aftermath, they may feel overwhelmed by grief, struggling to find their footing in a world that feels irrevocably altered. Van der Kolk's teaching reminds us that there is no timeline for healing; rather, it is a slow return to a new normal. This individual might find solace in small rituals, such as lighting a candle in memory of their loved one or journaling about their feelings, recognizing that each act is a step toward reclaiming their sense of self.
A reflection
As we contemplate van der Kolk's profound insight, we are invited to reflect on our own experiences of healing. How often do we impose unrealistic expectations on ourselves or others in the recovery process? In what ways can we cultivate patience and compassion as we navigate our journeys? Consider this contemplative question: What does it mean for you to embrace the idea of "slow returning" in your own life, and how might this shift your perspective on healing?
