Teaching on self
“You're never up against any other obstacle than yourself.”
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Anthony de Mello

In the profound words of Anthony de Mello, "You're never up against any other obstacle than yourself." This statement invites us to reflect on the nature of our challenges, suggesting that the greatest barriers we face are not external but rather internal. The implications of this insight are significant; it calls into question our tendency to attribute our struggles to circumstances beyond our control, urging us to turn our gaze inward to confront the self-imposed limitations that often dictate our lives.

De Mello's assertion resonates deeply in a world where external pressures and societal expectations can feel overwhelming. By framing obstacles as manifestations of our own inner conflicts, he encourages a journey of self-discovery and personal responsibility. This perspective not only empowers us to reclaim agency over our lives but also invites a deeper exploration of our beliefs, fears, and desires, ultimately leading to a more authentic existence.

The image / the metaphor

At its core, de Mello's quote evokes a vivid image of the self as both the architect and the adversary of our experiences. The use of the word "obstacle" conjures a sense of struggle, a barrier that stands in the way of our aspirations and peace. However, by identifying this obstacle as the self, de Mello shifts the focus from external forces to the internal landscape of our thoughts and emotions, suggesting that the real challenge lies in understanding and overcoming our own limitations.

This metaphor of the self as both the obstacle and the path to liberation invites a deeper contemplation of our inner dialogues. It suggests that the narratives we construct about ourselves—our fears of inadequacy, our self-doubt, and our ingrained beliefs—are the true impediments to our growth. By recognizing this, we can begin to dismantle these barriers, transforming our inner landscape from one of conflict to one of possibility.

In the speaker's tradition

Anthony de Mello's insights are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, which emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the transformative power of love and compassion. Concepts such as kenosis—the self-emptying of one's will to align with divine purpose—echo the essence of de Mello's teaching. In this light, the journey inward becomes not just a personal endeavor but a spiritual one, where the dissolution of the ego allows for a deeper connection with the divine and with others.

In his work "Awareness," de Mello draws upon the idea of prajna, or wisdom, which is cultivated through self-examination and mindfulness. This aligns with the teachings of other mystics who have emphasized the necessity of confronting the self to achieve spiritual enlightenment. The process of recognizing and overcoming our internal obstacles is not merely a psychological exercise; it is a sacred journey towards understanding our true nature and our relationship with the divine.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where an individual feels trapped in their career, believing that external circumstances—such as a lack of opportunities or unsupportive colleagues—are the primary obstacles to their success. De Mello's teaching invites this person to reflect on their own beliefs about their capabilities and worthiness. By recognizing that their perception of these external barriers is influenced by their internal dialogue, they can begin to shift their mindset, exploring new possibilities and taking proactive steps towards change.

In the realm of relationships, this teaching can be particularly illuminating. Imagine a person who feels consistently misunderstood by their partner, attributing the strain in their relationship to the partner's behavior. By applying de Mello's insight, they might begin to examine their own reactions and expectations, recognizing that their feelings of frustration stem from their own insecurities and fears. This shift in perspective can lead to more open communication and a deeper understanding of both themselves and their partner, fostering a healthier and more compassionate relationship.

A reflection

As we contemplate de Mello's profound statement, we are invited to engage in a reflective practice that encourages us to explore our inner landscapes. What self-imposed obstacles are we currently facing, and how might they be shaping our experiences? In what ways can we begin to dismantle these barriers to cultivate a more authentic and fulfilling life? Allow these questions to guide your contemplation, as you seek to uncover the deeper truths within yourself.

ArtistAnthony de Mello

Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who blended Christian spirituality with Buddhist and Hindu insights.

Got Questions?

De Mello's quote emphasizes that the primary challenges we face in life are often rooted in our own beliefs, fears, and limitations rather than external circumstances. It suggests that by turning our attention inward, we can identify and overcome these self-imposed obstacles, leading to personal growth and transformation.
To apply de Mello's teaching, start by observing your thoughts and reactions in challenging situations. Ask yourself what beliefs or fears might be influencing your perspective, and consider how shifting your mindset could change your experience. This practice of self-reflection can help you recognize and dismantle the internal barriers that hold you back.
Yes, the concept of internal obstacles is prevalent in Christian mysticism. For instance, the writings of St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila emphasize the importance of self-examination and the need to confront one's own ego to achieve spiritual growth and union with the divine.
Kenosis refers to the self-emptying of one's will to align with a higher purpose, while self-awareness involves recognizing and understanding one's thoughts and emotions. In the context of de Mello's teaching, both concepts are interconnected; self-awareness can lead to kenosis, as understanding oneself allows for the release of ego-driven desires and the embrace of a more authentic existence.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living de Mello's teaching. By cultivating present-moment awareness, individuals can observe their thoughts and emotions without judgment, gaining insight into the internal obstacles that may be influencing their lives. This practice fosters a deeper understanding of oneself and encourages personal transformation.

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