Teaching on happiness
“Happiness is our natural state. It is not something we have to earn or achieve.”
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Anthony de Mello

Anthony de Mello's assertion that "Happiness is our natural state. It is not something we have to earn or achieve" invites us to reconsider our understanding of happiness. This profound statement challenges the pervasive notion that happiness is a reward for accomplishments or a distant goal to be pursued. Instead, de Mello suggests that happiness is inherent to our being, a state of existence that we often overlook in our quest for external validation. Recognizing this truth can transform our lives, liberating us from the burdens of striving and the anxiety of unfulfilled desires.

In a world that often equates happiness with success, wealth, or status, de Mello's perspective offers a refreshing and liberating insight. It compels us to look inward, to explore the depths of our own essence, and to acknowledge that happiness is not a commodity to be acquired but a state to be realized. This understanding invites us to cultivate a deeper awareness of our thoughts and emotions, allowing us to reconnect with the joy that resides within us. By embracing this natural state, we can navigate life's challenges with grace and authenticity, fostering a sense of peace that transcends external circumstances.

The image / the metaphor

At the heart of de Mello's quote lies a powerful imagery that evokes the idea of happiness as an innate quality, much like the sun that shines regardless of the clouds that may obscure it. The verbs "is" and "have to earn" suggest a stark contrast between being and doing, illuminating the distinction between our essence and our actions. Happiness, in this context, is not a fleeting emotion but a fundamental aspect of our being, waiting to be uncovered rather than achieved. This metaphor invites us to peel back the layers of conditioning and societal expectations that cloud our perception of joy.

Diving deeper into this metaphor, we can envision happiness as a wellspring within us, a source of vitality that flows freely when we allow ourselves to be present. Just as a river flows effortlessly, unencumbered by the obstacles it encounters, so too can our happiness flow when we release the need to control or manipulate our circumstances. This imagery encourages us to embrace the simplicity of being, to recognize that happiness is not contingent upon external validation but is instead a natural expression of our true selves. In this light, the journey toward happiness becomes one of unlearning rather than striving.

In the speaker's tradition

Anthony de Mello's insights are deeply rooted in the Christian mystical tradition, which emphasizes the importance of inner transformation and the realization of one's true nature. Concepts such as kenosis, or self-emptying, resonate with de Mello's teaching, as they invite individuals to let go of their ego-driven desires and attachments. This process of surrender allows for a deeper connection with the divine and the recognition of our inherent worthiness of happiness. In this context, happiness is not merely a personal pursuit but a reflection of our relationship with the divine and the world around us.

In his work, de Mello often draws upon the teachings of Jesus, who spoke of the Kingdom of God as a state of being that is already present within us. This aligns with the notion of prajna, or wisdom, found in various spiritual traditions, which encourages us to look beyond the surface of our experiences and to recognize the deeper truths that lie within. By cultivating this awareness, we can begin to experience the joy and peace that are our birthright, transcending the limitations imposed by our conditioned minds. De Mello's teachings serve as a reminder that the path to happiness is not found in external pursuits but in the awakening of our inner selves.

Living the teaching

Consider a modern scenario where the pursuit of happiness often leads to stress and dissatisfaction: the workplace. Many individuals find themselves caught in a cycle of striving for promotions, accolades, or recognition, believing that these achievements will bring them happiness. However, when we shift our focus from external validation to the recognition of our inherent worth, we can cultivate a sense of fulfillment that is not contingent upon our job titles or performance reviews. Embracing de Mello's teaching allows us to approach our work with a sense of purpose and joy, rather than as a means to an end.

This teaching can also be applied in the realm of relationships, where the quest for happiness can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations. When we enter into relationships with the belief that our partner must fulfill our happiness, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Instead, by recognizing that happiness is our natural state, we can approach our relationships with a sense of openness and acceptance. This shift allows us to appreciate our partners for who they are, rather than as instruments of our happiness, fostering deeper connections built on mutual respect and understanding.

A reflection

As we contemplate de Mello's assertion that happiness is our natural state, we are invited to explore the depths of our own being. What beliefs or conditioning have led us to believe that happiness must be earned or achieved? In this moment of reflection, consider the ways in which you might reconnect with your inherent joy. How can you cultivate a sense of presence and awareness that allows you to experience happiness as a natural expression of your essence? Let this question guide you on your journey toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.

ArtistAnthony de Mello

Jesuit priest and psychotherapist who blended Christian spirituality with Buddhist and Hindu insights.

Got Questions?

De Mello suggests that happiness is not something we must strive for or earn through achievements. Instead, it is an inherent quality of our being, waiting to be recognized and embraced. This perspective encourages us to look inward and acknowledge that joy is a natural part of who we are.
You can apply this teaching by shifting your focus from external achievements to cultivating a sense of inner peace and contentment. Practice mindfulness and self-awareness, allowing yourself to experience joy in the present moment rather than postponing it for future accomplishments.
Yes, the idea that happiness and fulfillment are found within is echoed in various Christian mystical writings. For instance, the teachings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross emphasize the importance of inner transformation and the recognition of God's presence within us.
In this context, happiness is often seen as a natural state of being, while joy may be viewed as a deeper, more enduring experience that arises from within. Joy can be understood as a profound sense of connection to oneself and the divine, transcending fleeting emotions.
Mindfulness meditation is a powerful practice that supports living this teaching. By cultivating present-moment awareness, you can learn to recognize and embrace the happiness that is already within you, allowing it to flow freely in your daily life.
Overcoming this belief involves a process of self-reflection and unlearning. Engage in practices that promote self-compassion and acceptance, such as journaling or therapy, to explore the roots of this belief and gradually shift your perspective toward recognizing your inherent worth.

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