Spiritual Director

What is Spiritual Director?

A spiritual director is a person who companions others as they attend to their relationship with the divine, helping them recognize and respond to the movements of God in their lives. Spiritual direction is the practice of being with people as they attempt to deepen their relationship with the divine, or to learn and grow in their personal spirituality. Despite the title, the human spiritual director does not “direct” in the sense of giving advice and solving problems. Rather, the director helps a person respond to God’s invitation to a deeper relationship.

The role centers on holy listening. The director intends to do more listening than talking, asking leading and, sometimes, probing questions as needed and appropriate. There is very little actual direction given as this is commonly understood. Rather, the spiritual director convenes a conversation during which a direction will be determined by the directee and director together, co-laboring with God. Sessions typically occur monthly and focus on noticing where divine presence appears in prayer, relationships, decisions, and the texture of daily life.

Origins & Lineage

Spiritual direction predates Christianity. Most ancient schools of philosophy remarked the importance of spiritual direction in order to improve moral education. Socrates can be considered as the ideal of spiritual director among his followers. Other examples can be found in Cynics, Epicureans, or Stoics—like Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Musonius Rufus or Epictetus in his Discourses—who actively practiced spiritual direction.

Within Christianity, spiritual direction has its roots in early Christianity. The gospels describe Jesus serving as a mentor to his disciples. Additionally, Acts of the Apostles chapter 9 describes Ananias helping Paul of Tarsus to grow in his newfound experience of Christianity. Christian spiritual direction was established by the desert fathers and mothers of the 3rd and 4th centuries. Then, in the centuries following, monks in monasteries developed this ministry further.

Theologian John Cassian, who lived in the 4th century, provided some of the earliest recorded guidelines on the Christian practice of spiritual direction. He introduced mentoring in the monasteries. Each novice was put under the care of an older monk. Benedict of Nursia integrated Cassian’s guidelines into what is now known as the Rule of Saint Benedict.

The 16th century brought significant development through Ignatius of Loyola (1491–1556). The Spiritual Exercises, composed 1522–1524, are a set of Christian meditations, contemplations, and prayers written by Ignatius of Loyola. They were composed with the intention of helping participants in religious retreats to discern the will of God in their lives, leading to a personal commitment to follow Jesus whatever the cost. The most common way of going through the Exercises now is a “retreat in daily life,” which involves a monthslong program of daily prayer and meetings with a spiritual director.

In the 17th century, St Francis de Sales and St Vincent de Paul in France made the custom of spiritual direction for lay men and women even more popular. The practice has also existed across traditions: in Judaism, the spiritual director called a mashpi’a occurs in the Chabad-Lubavitch community and also in the Jewish Renewal community. In Sufism, the term used for spiritual master is murshid, Arabic for ‘guide’ or ‘teacher’.

How It’s Practiced

Spiritual direction typically unfolds in one-on-one sessions lasting 45 minutes to an hour, scheduled monthly or every six weeks. The spiritual director is trained to listen, discern and sometimes ask questions. The task of the spiritual director is to diligently pay attention to the person’s story and the Spirit, and to encourage spiritual growth.

A session begins with the directee sharing what has been stirring in their inner life—experiences of prayer, moments of consolation or desolation, questions about vocation, or everyday encounters where they sense (or fail to sense) the presence of God. The foundational spiritual direction question for the director to ask is, “How have you been experiencing God’s presence?” Silence is welcomed. Times of silence are apropos and welcomed.

The director listens on multiple levels: to the directee’s words, to emotional undercurrents, and to the movements of the Spirit. A spiritual director is trained to put aside his or her own agenda and assumptions, distractions and thoughts in order to fully listen on several planes to you and the Spirit. The director may occasionally suggest spiritual practices, scriptures, or reflections for the directee to explore between sessions, but these are offered as invitations, not prescriptions.

Spiritual direction is, by definition, a relationship that is “one way”–focused on the directee. Rather, spiritual direction is a relationship that actually helps us make sure we are actually experiencing what we are preaching and teaching others about. The relationship is confidential and bounded—directors typically avoid socializing with directees outside of sessions to preserve objectivity.

Spiritual Direction Today

Spiritual direction has experienced a renaissance in recent decades. While once the domain primarily of Catholic religious orders, it is now practiced across Christian denominations and adapted by seekers outside traditional institutional religion. At Portland Seminary, we’ve been training spiritual directors since 2004. Many other seminaries do as well and could recommend spiritual directors.

Seekers encounter spiritual direction in several ways:

• Retreat centers and monasteries often offer both spiritual direction and training programs.
• Seminary-based certificate programs, typically 18–24 months, provide formation for aspiring directors.
• Online directories such as Spiritual Directors International connect seekers with trained directors.
• Parish and church settings increasingly include spiritual directors on staff or maintain referral lists.
• Private practice where directors meet with clients in homes, offices, or via video.

Spiritual directors are professionals called to offer this service. Therefore, there is a fee, usually on a sliding scale or negotiable, but nevertheless, it is their ministry and they should be paid for their labor. Fees are generally lower than therapy and sessions less frequent (monthly rather than weekly). Spiritual direction is not covered by insurance.

Training standards vary. Regarding spiritual direction, there is, in fact, no specific and official standard for training/formation. That means that one person’s certificate of training could mean something completely different than someone else’s. Some directors complete certificate programs; others receive formation through apprenticeship models within monastic or religious communities.

Common Misconceptions

Spiritual direction is not therapy or counseling. While the lines may be blurry at times depending on the style of the spiritual director or present circumstances, spiritual direction is different from pastoral counseling. People usually enter a counseling relationship because something is wrong with life. Counseling tends to be crisis-oriented or problem-driven. Solving particular problems or handling specific crises is not the goal of spiritual direction. The focus of spiritual direction is always on the relationship with God and the spiritual elements of the directee’s life. A spiritual director has a laser beam focus on where the Holy Spirit is moving in their directee’s life and helps them to discern those patterns. Directors are trained to refer directees to therapy when psychological issues arise that require clinical expertise.

Directors do not literally “direct.” The task of the spiritual director is not to literally direct a person, which is often a misconception about spiritual direction, but to remain attentive to the spirit of God on behalf of someone else. God is the director, and the process of spiritual direction is a practice of helping people become aware of what God is up to in their lives.

Spiritual direction is not only for crises. Unlike therapy, which people often seek during distress, spiritual direction can be an ongoing discipline for spiritual deepening across all seasons of life. Counseling (or therapy) is where we go when we’re in “crisis mode” but spiritual direction is meant to be an ongoing part of our lives.

It is not confined to one tradition. While deeply rooted in Christian monasticism, spiritual direction has been adapted across Jewish, Sufi, and other contemplative traditions, and many contemporary directors work ecumenically or non-denominationally.

Directors are not “certified” in the licensing sense. “Completed a certificate in spiritual direction” is a more accurate and ethical way of representing training in spiritual direction than using the term “certified.” Unlike therapists, directors do not hold state licenses or require regulatory board approval.

How to Begin

If you’re drawn to spiritual direction, consider these steps:

1. Clarify your intention. Are you seeking help discerning a major life decision? Deepening your prayer life? Exploring questions about God? Navigating spiritual dryness? Directees come for many reasons.

2. Seek recommendations. Ask a pastor, chaplain, or friends who have worked with a spiritual director. Many retreat centers and monasteries can help you find one. Governing offices of more liturgical church bodies may have lists of directors in your area. Online directories include Spiritual Directors International.

3. Interview potential directors. Please be discerning as you choose a director. Your first time together should be more of an interview than a session for direction, with both directee and director listening to see if they are a good fit for one another. Ask about their training, tradition, approach, and fees.

4. Commit to a few sessions. Spiritual direction unfolds slowly. Give the relationship three to six months before evaluating whether it serves your spiritual journey.

5. Read foundational texts. Books like The Practice of Spiritual Direction by William A. Barry and William J. Connolly, Spiritual Direction and Meditation by Thomas Merton, or Sacred Companions by David Benner offer insight into the practice. For those interested in Ignatian spirituality, explore Ignatius of Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises or contemporary adaptations.

6. Bring your whole life. You need not separate “spiritual” experiences from daily struggles. Dallas Willard suggested that a great spiritual direction question is simply, “What is bothering you?” That guards against the conversation being “spiritual” in an idealistic or intellectual way and promotes it being real and authentic to the client’s actual life.